Monday, December 28, 2015

Accept it and move on.

Well Thanks God for giving me the holi-9-days on this year end. The best part of it is that I can figure many things out : giving a space for myself, the loved ones, family, friends, work, another dreams that I left behind, some journeys, everything, CLEARLY. The whole days I've been thinking. That I have to learn to forgive, sometimes it's not because they deserves to, but deep inside us, our soul need a peace. 

As an anonymous said : to be old and wise we must be young and stupid. Well, I'm young, and I'm stupid. And I'm awesome, too (:p)

Nobody's perfect, buddy. Each of us did many stupid things in life and we couldn't avoid it even we wants to. Just when you realize that there's many problems in your life, you got many homework to do. Accept it and move on ! :)


Friday, November 20, 2015

Kurang Piknik

Ciri-ciri anak negeri kurang piknik :

1. Muka Pucet
2. Ngomong sering ngelantur
3. Kalo diajak curhat sering ngeces
4. Sering diare mendadak
5. Sering berilusi. Ngeliat tembok kantor berasa ngeliat pasir pantai


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Syair Hujan 1

Dan adakah yang lebih indah dari mendoakannya dibawah hujan, diatas sujudmu kepada sang pemilik cerita kemana hatimu akan menepikan kerinduannya ?.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Second reason why I love traffic.

For the second time I love traffic. Wait, have I told you when is the first time ?. The first time I love traffic is whenever my events held, and there's a lot of cars are queuing on our event's gate.

At this time I'd really love traffic is because it could kills my sadness. I'm madly feel like I'm drowning in a deep deep deep sadness. My aunt got lungs cancer and how it made her suffering was really kills me. She couldn't even eat. She's more like a child. The way she speak, the way she call my name. The way she drink. It was freaking me out. Freaking my family out.

Sadly, nobody's really there when I need someone to hold. 
What should I do then ?, crying on the front porch ?, crying when I drive home ?, crying when I eat ?. I did. I got my eyes was big and when people stared at me, maybe they think I just broke up with my boyfriend. Or I just lose my phone. Or I just lose both at the same time. But no, I just sad because of my aunt's illness.

So here I am. In the middle of Cibubur's traffic. Have no idea what to do. Don't know how to go. 23 yo manless, aimless girl (like Ika Natassa's said). Trying to entertain herself.

Macet kali ini setidaknya membuat saya merasa tidak sendirian, tidak peduli cowok dan cewek di depan saya naik motornya sempit-sempitan banget padahal jok belakangnya masih luas. The point is, I'm not alone. Even I am.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Good thing + Good Thing = Good Mood

Setelah adegan sujud syukur karena setelah 3 bulan akhirnya gue bisa ambil deposito.. It was another surprising moment di kantor : Maris wearing Hijab !! Alhamdulillah Woohoo !!. I'm so happy, then.

Finally.. There would be no bad hair day anymore, Marko. Enggak ada lagi kalimat : 'Rambut gue diapain ya ? Lagi jelek banget nih'

'Rambut gue tuh kenapa sih lagi nggak banget..!'

'Rambut gue tuh kenapa sih keliatannya kering banget !'

'Rambut gue tuh kenapa sih namanya rambut !'

I wish it would be a good beginning to lead you on a better path. Go on, Marko !!

:)

Monday, October 19, 2015

Ten Years and Broke Up.

When I was a little girl, I thought there’s a lot of -doesn’t makes any sense- things in life. As I grew older, and mature enough to think that teletubbies weren’t exist in the real life, then I realize that everything is possible. At least, in this case.

Let me tell you this story. It’s about my friend named D. We’ve been friends for almost 17 years and I can convince you that I know her every tiny secrets.

She and her boyfriend were having a good relationship for ten years since we (me and D) still in Junior high school (maybe about 2nd or 3rd grade). D loves him. He loves D. And everythings was going imperfectly perfect.

Year by year’s gone and we grew up as a young lady. And D’s boyfriend (he also grown up :p )as a mature man. And the things started going complicated.
3 months before their marriage. They’d broke up. Did it surprises me ?. Of course I did.
‘how come?’ was the first sentence I threw to her. It was very unbelieveable. They’ve been built their relationship for almost ten years and it’s done with ‘that kind’ of ending ?. I thought that kind of relationship will ends at the wedding party.

But it just happened.

D said that family is their main problem. Her boyfriend’s family weren’t welcome enough to her. There’s so many fights before they deal with the worse scenario of their ‘ages’ relationship. BROKE UP.

Then it taught me one thing that no matter how far,  how mature  your relationship are, the worse scenario will always be the most possible thing. It was a fight nobody’s won.


Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Olivia Ong - You and Me




Taking a trip down the memory lane
Things have changed, one thing remains
That they will always have each other

And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
There's some kinda magic in the air

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1, 2, 3, 4, cheek to cheek

And they're learning how to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this to be true for you and me

Holding her close, he leading the way
Out at the park, enjoying the day
And you can tell they'll be okay

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1, 2, 3, 4, cheek to cheek

And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this to be true for you and me

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1, 2, 3, 4, cheek to cheek

And they're learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this to be true for you and me

To be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
You and me, you and me


Monday, September 21, 2015

Maris's Birthday


Jadi ceritanya, tanggal 10 September kemaren itu, temen kantor gue (sekaligus temen main, sekaligus temen berantem, sekaligus tukang kerokin kalo lagi masuk angin) yang namanya Maris a.k.a Markonah, ulang tahun. Bukan EO ya namanya kalo gak bisa arrange surprise ultah orang lain, apa lagi team sendiri. Karena kebetulan pas banget ultahnya Marko itu hari pertama 'MAXXBOX LIPPO CIKARANG FOOD TRUCK FESTIVAL', jadilah gue, Ibu boss, beserta team yang lain (Mami Selvi, Kahfi, Reza, Wahyu 'n Hardy) berkoordinasi buat eksekusi surprise buat doi. Setelah bikin group dadakan di LINE, jadilah malam itu after Perform DJ di stage, semua team termasuk all food trucks crew naik ke atas panggung bawa 'bawaan' masing - masing (1 food truck = 1 menu) which is ada 16 food trucks yang ikutan ngasih surprise, kebayang dong banyak banget makanan di atas panggung ? Hehehe....

Eh, nggak seru kan kalo surprise tanpa adegan romantis ?





Maris pun dibully rame - rame gegara adegan romantis sama 2 crew food truck ini.. hihihi :p

FYI, dari sini lah asal muasal ‘Tomo Dance’ yang diciptain Mbak Selvi, MC kita yang emang dari lahir udah gesrek. Gerakan dance-nya mirip ayam abis dapet lotere, sambil bersenandung ‘Tomo.. Tomo..’

Berhubung boss kasih kue, gue habisin makanan lah ya (aya, please !). Rezeki anak soleha, kasih kejutan ke temen, eh dapet makanan banyak. Nyam.. Nyam..

Dikarenakan faktor cuaca yang kemarau kering kerontang sampai ke dompet-dompet, Kado dari gue  pun agak telat, gue sebenernya bingung mau kasih apa, pengen beli baju, biasa banget. Beliin sepatu, mahal. Akhirnya suddenly came out an idea gue pengen kasih something made by myself. Menurut gue kalo gift yang elo bikin sendiri itu priceless. Enggak ada harganya. Pertama, gift yang lo bikin dari tangan lo sendiri, otomatis lebih eksklusif karena emang cuma 1, enggak ada yang punya lagi, kecuali kalo elo bikin gift di percetakan depan Kota Wisata Cibubur, terus kadonya lu jualin lagi, itu beda ceritanya. Kedua, dengan elo bikin gift pake tangan elo sendiri, orang tersebut merasa di-spesial-kan, men.

Ada 3 item yang gue kasih ke Marko (bukan mau pamer, mungkin bisa jadi inspirasi) :

1). Note = ini karena belakangan doi kode banget ngomongin note muluk, kayak gini contohnya :

‘aduh parah banget ya gue.. kerja disini bertahun-tahun tapi nggak punya note sendiri’ (kode #1)

‘Cong gue pinjem note lo yaaa.. note kantor yang biasa gue pegang gak tau dimana.. gue nggak punya note sendiri sih..’ (kode #2)

2). Bantal = kenapa bantal ? gue juga nggak tau, yang jelas bukan karena doi gendut mirip bantal. Doi tipis lebih mirip lidi-lidian SD, makanya gue sering takut kalo lagi makan bareng di kantor terus doi deket-deket saos, takut kemakan.

3). Photo Craft = I very love this one J








Kalo elo tanya ke gue Marko itu apa, dia itu makhluk Tuhan paling EMOTIONLESS & BULLYABLE yang pernah gue kenal. Kenapa ? karena doi tuh hampir nggak pernah bener-bener berekspresi, kalo seneng.. begitu.. kalo sedih.. begitu.. kalo marah.. juga begitu. Datar sih enggak, tapi ya.. begitu...
Dan doi ini salah satu orang yang paling enak banget buat dibully. Enggak tau kenapa enak aja.. hahahahaha...
Well, once more.. Happy Birthday Marko. Semoga tahun ini lo jadi Marko yang lebih baik daripada Marko tahun kemarin. Semoga dapet pacar yang baik yang sering beliin barang di Zalora, Lazada, LaFonte dan La La yang lain ya.. dan semoga enggak pernah capek punya temen absurd kayak gue, dan karena mungkin gue jarang bilang makasih sama lo, makasih buat jadi Marko-nya gue yang selalu cerewet banget kalo tangki bensin gue udah di bar merah :p


Love,
Ayacan




HAPPINESS :)



The best feeling of happiness is when you're happy because you've made somebody else happy.. :)

Friday, August 7, 2015

23 Thoughts from 23 years old girl

1. I'm so blessed having them as 'kesayangans'
2. Life is about give and give, not take and give.
3. Tidak perlu mati-matian mengejar sesuatu yang tidak dibawa mati.
4. Selalu bersyukur
5. Hiduplah secara jujur.
6. Jika belum bisa membantu orang lain, jagnan menyusahkan.
7. Always be kind, be humble.
8. Talk less, listen more.
9. Keep calm, Panic always cause NEGATIVE RESULT.
10. Bagikanlah ilmu yang bermanfaat.
11. Realisasikan Ide, action !
12. Expect less from people, it will help you a lot.
13. Nothing to lose.
14. Why do people lie ?, maybe they just don't understand.
15. Stop comparing your life to others.
16. If you hate cheaters, don't be one of them.
17. Hate less, love more.
18. Laughter is the best medicine
19. Be the best version of yourself
20. God always with you, so never leave Him.
21. What you have to do to others ?
22. Hidup untuk saat ini. Kini.
23. Whatever, jangan lupa bahagia ! :)

mess :(

Kayaknya banyak yang harus diberesin dengan hidup gue. Banyak.

People from the past

Sometimes in life, we miss some people from our past.

But you know what ?

Missing somebody doesn't mean you need them back into your life, even if you want to.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Cara terbaik

Terkadang justru cara terbaik untuk menjaga seseorang adalah dengan melepaskannya..

Kapan nikah ?

Di usia 20an something, adakah acara kumpul-kumpul keluarga tanpa pertanyaan yang lebih answerable selain 'kapan nikah?'

Friday, July 3, 2015

We made it

Sayangnya kebanyakan dari kita sering merumitkan hal yang sederhana, dan menyederhanakan hal yang memang seharusnya rumit.

Saturday, June 13, 2015


Have you ever felt that you have a problem with time because they flies too fast ? meanwhile there's still a bunch of tasks and dreams you have to achieve ?

I do.

It's been many years and I still counting..
My mind throwing back at the time when I met a ........ woman (I don't have any proper words to describe her, she's too complicated to describe in just one word) who actually happened to be my boss, and all those 'beautiful coincidences' happened.

Actually I can't write many words right now. It's just, thankful words.

Thank you for all supports, for the laughs, for the cries, and everything in between. Thankyou for sooooo many life-lessons. Thankyou for all those great.. great experiences. Thank you for many times we've spent together. Those stupid jokes, those heartbreaking story, and those memorable moments. Thankyou for those 3 magical years i won't forget.

Thank you StandardPlus,  for being my second home and family.


Wednesday, April 1, 2015

I'm done

It's the final stage. I'm tired. I'm done with you. I think it's better to just have a professional relationship.

I give up on you.

It was totally hurt. Indeed.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

A space



image : http://www.urbanpicnic-streetphotography.com/inspiration/a-guide-to-street-photography/


When people only busy with their own life. Why do you busy thinking of them ?. Sometimes I think they doesn't even really care. Or if they cared about you, they only need you for some reason, what if someday you become weak, sick, can't work and do something for them ?. They shall throw you out of the earth. To the world named trash bin.

Why am I became so negative ?
I have no idea. Sometimes I become a very positive thinker and a negative thinker. I often hate and love something at the same time.

It's been happens multiple times. There's so many 'self-talk' and 'question-anwered' blown out on my mind and I can't help it.

Sometime I became very posessive, rude and selfish and stubborn in the same way. And could be very sensitive, fragile, polite, and sincere in many different ways. I don't know if anybody's out there feel the same way.

They said there's nothing in this world can't be fixed. But, this world gave me so many unanswered quetions and untouchable secrets.

I don't know for sure, but I think right now I need an escape.
Sometimes it’s better to be far. Than to be too close. Too close will kill you. Space will give you a breath. Space will teach you how to miss someone, and how to learn its meaning.



Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Dear Dad :)

Hi Dad. I hope you good inside/outside there.

Dad, if only the day when you passed away I'm at your side. If I only I had five minutes, the morning you passed away, I'll give you one last hug so tight and see your great big smile. I'd tell you that I don't think I could live without you, not even for awhile. I'll kiss your cheek and take your hand and tell you it's okay to go. And tell you that I'll miss you, more than you'll ever know.

If only I could tell you many.. many things I wanted to tell. If only God give me 5 minutes to say these unspoken words to you..

1.  Thanks for loving me and caring me for ten years.
2.  Thanks for loving our angel who became your wife and became my mother.
3.  Thanks for keeping me warm in our small-lovely home.
4.  Thanks for teaching me how to ride my first bike, your birthday gift for me.
5.  Thanks for teaching me how to pray and to believe our God.
6.  Thanks for buying me many boys toys : Robots, guitar, cars, etc.
7.  Thanks for giving me a beautiful name with a beautiful meaning.
8.  Thanks for many holidays we spent together.
9.  Thanks for lot of photographs you took since I was a baby.
10.Thanks for being my hero.


I'll always miss you Dad, always.


Monday, March 23, 2015

What Ifs


People said we’d rather have a life of “oh wells” than a life of “what if’s”. But I think “What If’s” is more interesting when we want to escape for a while from reality. Here are my some 'What Ifs' that comes to mind :

What if I most of Jakarta Citizens move to Africa ?

What if people sings when they says every words, like in the’Les Miserable’ movie ?

What if people never grow old and they stuck in 25 years look ?

What if there’s no lies in this world ?

What if all animals could speak to human ?

What if we are all have ‘Doraemon’s Door’ when we’re in the middle of insane traffic ? (just in case)

What if we are all have no hair at all ?

What if aliens come to earth and kills all ‘begalers’  around Jabodetabek ?

What if math never existed ?

What if Albert Einstein, Shakespeare, and Julius Caesar live in the 20th century ?

What if we can fix all hunger problems in the universe ?

What If there’s a ‘GADGET FREE DAY’ ?

What if we can buy anything we want with sincere smiles ?

What if there’s no hate in the world ?

What if we have our own time machine ? So we can fix bad memories ?

What if once in our life, we could be someone else for a day ?

What if we should make a poem whenever we did mistakes ?

What if reading a book is paid ?

What if you have a remote to switch off and on the world whenever you want without giving bad effects to others ?


What if the most honest person (s) in the world have golden hair so they could sell it to make living ?

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Emptyness



There’s so many feelings in your mind, in your heart. Lelah, marah, bosan, bahagia, malu, jengkel, terasing, dan banyak lagi temen-temennya. Nah menurut lo, Perasaan apa yang paling nggak enak ?. Lelah ?. Menurut gue, perasaan paling nggak enak adalah merasa kosong. Bukan sepi, kosong saja. Like there’s a hole in your heart, or mind, or anywhere I don’t  know exactly.

Actually I there’s too much water in my glass, I need another place to pour my water. Gue mungkin cuma belum nemu tempat yang pas. The simple sentence that absolutely right is ; Life comes with no guarantees. Ada yang pergi, ada yang datang. Baik itu orang, perasaan, uang. They comes and goes. They goes and comes. Begitu aja terus sampe subuh. And another thing for sure is, there’s no coincidence. Everything is happens or a reason. Mungkin kalo elo enggak ngerasain ‘kosong’, elo nggak akan pernah tau rasanya ‘terisi’.

At least today I learnt 2 new words, "emptyness" and "life".

Friday, February 13, 2015

A simple step to brighten up someone's day

If you want to make somebody happy, just take this simple step :

Make a phone call to her/him in the early morning. Say 'hello' with a deep sincere smile. You will brighten up her/his whole day. I've tried.

Happy 'Happy Day' :)


Thursday, February 12, 2015

Your frienemies is yourself.

Beberapa hari ini sering ngerasa bad feelings dalam banyak hal. Fluctuative mood, negatif thinking and bad temper. At first, gue pikir cuma lagi jenuh dan butuh hiburan aja. Tapi kayaknya perasaan seperti ini kalo nggak pinter2 disikapin, nggak baik buat kedepannya. Adalah Mas Paidi, orang yang sebenernya (dulu) banyak nggak benernya. Hehehe.. Yang (lagi-lagi) menyadarkan gue tanpa ngasih tau langkah apa yang harus gue ambil buat mengatasi masalah gue. Sampe di suatu siang ketika gue ngeluh tentang rasa jenuh gue dengan banyak hal, dia bilang 'Musuh terbesarmu adalah diri kamu sendiri'. And I think he's right.

Your frienemies is yourself.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Where's my lense ?

Buat orang yang biasa pake kacamata. Buat gue, lensa kontak emang ngebantu banget. Selain nggak bikin pegel, gerak juga berasa lebih dinamis. Itu menurut gue lho ya..

Ditambah lagi, karena saya adalah seorang biker yang kemana-mana pake motor (iya dong, kalo pake becak namanya 'becaker'). Kalo hujan kan nggak enak banget tuh ya, kacamata ngembun.

Nah, ketika mau lepas lensa kontak, gue kaget.. Mata yang satu lagi kok perih pas gue mau copot lensanya. Ternyata pas diliat2, lensa gue itu udah copot dan hilang entah kemana. Pantesan dicolok-colok kok perih..  -,-

So, where's my lense ?
Jatuh pas lagi wudhu kah ? Lagi cuci muka kah ?

Ada temen2 yang pernah ngalamin kayak gini nggak ?

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Kenapa pilih daun yang tidak utuh ?


Ditengah pekerjaan outdoor tadi siang bersama team, saya mengambil satu daun yang jatuh diantara kami. Ingin rasanya memberikannya tempat yang lebih nyaman. Hanya rasa ingin saja. Lalu daun tersebut saya bawa pulang ke kantor. Kemudian boss saya bertanya : 'Tadi banyak daun yang jatuh disana, kenapa kamu memilih yang tidak utuh ?'. Sambil tersenyum simpul, saya menjawab 'Karena orang lain nggak akan mau ngambil daun yang ini, bu'.

Monday, January 26, 2015

what's wrong with Wi-Fi ?



Dari ribuan detik yang kita lalui di meja makan, terlontar 1 kalimat tanya yang akhirnya memecah sunyi : 'wifi-nya kenapa ya ? Gak connected nih'.


Greatest Movie Soundtrack | Begin Again



Satu minggu yang lalu ada seorang teman yang ngerekomendasiin film 'Begin Again'. Filmnya oke, cuma endingnya yang agak 'kurang'. Tapi diluar itu, gue suka banget sama soundtracknya. Baru nyadar kalo Keira Knightley bisa nyanyi, dan baru nyadar kalo Adam Levine bisa acting, dan baru nyadar (lagi) kalo gue bener-bener jatuh cinta sama SOUNDTRACKNYA...
dan baru nyada.... *dikeplak*

Nah kalo soal soundtrack, di film ini ada 1 lagu yang dinyanyiin oleh Adam Levine (Maroon 5) dan Keira Knightley. Bukan duet, mereka bawain dengan versinya masing-masing. I love both. Nih link youtube-nya.


Selain lagu itu, ada beberapa lagu lain yang enggak-kalah-kece-sumpah.




Friday, January 23, 2015

Apa salahku, Mbak ?

Buat mbak-mbak sebelah rumah yang tiba-tiba aneh *ga tau kenapa*

Mbak aneh, saya salah apa ya sampe - sampe situ tiba - tiba aneh itu sama saya, akrab enggak, kenal banget juga enggak, ditanya diem, ketemu dijalan saya klaksonin pura-pura nggak tau. Situ malu, sebel, ngefans, atau ngiri sama orang bego kayak saya ?

Kan saya jadi ngerasa aneh, kalo ada salah bilang dong, bikin bingung tau !

Atau mungkin lain kali kalo ketemu dijalan nggak akan saya klakson deh , langsung saya tabrak aja gimana ? XD

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Songs, Moods, and Moments

                



Ini tentang lagu, dan seberapa besar pengaruhnya dalam setiap potongan kecil hidup lo..

Seperti yang gue tulis kemarin di blog gue yang lain (mbaketeer.blogspot.com) tentang pengaruh lagu terhadap memori dan moment yang ada didalamnya. Gue rasa semua orang pasti punya imajinasi sendiri saat mendengarkan suatu lagu. Entah itu lagu up-beat yang bikin semangat,  love songs yang bikin hati berbunga-bunga,  lagu-lagu mellow yang bikin kenangan masa lalu seolah balik lagi atau bahkan heartbreaking songs. Pernah kan elo dengerin satu lagu, terus elo yang tiba-tiba ‘aduh.. lagunya, bikin inget sama si ini..’ atau ‘hah ! ganti lagunya ganti !! bikin inget sama yang dulu-dulu !!’.
Kalo jawabannya iya, berarti kita sepikiran, jadi kapan mau ajak gue ngedate ?. (eh, salah ya?). Enggak enggak, maksud gue, berarti kita sepakat dengan apa yang gue sampein diatas. Nah yang jadi masalah sekarang adalah, gimana kalo elo dengerin lagu, dan elo enggak ngerasain apa-apa. Well, jadi ceritanya belakangan ini, gue hampir enggak merasakan apa-apa kalo dengerin lagu, terutama lagu cinta. Apapun lagu cintanya, semua berasa FLAT, all is flat !. Gue enggak tau kenapa, tapi setelah gue telusuri lebih lanjut, kayaknya karena enggak ada figure yang pas untuk memvisualisasikan lagu cinta tersebut.

And I realize something, I’m not in love with anyone.


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Kenapa ada kenapa ?




                Kenapa orang harus ketemu kalo dalam beberapa lama mereka akan jenuh satu sama lain ?

                Kenapa banyak manusia yang selalu mau yang instan tanpa menghargai sebuah proses ?

                Kenapa..bilangnya cinta tapi.. bohong ?

                Kenapa lebih banyak orang yang cuma pinter ngasih teori daripada praktek ?

                Kenapa manusia sering banget gak mikirin perasaan orang lain kalo lagi marah ?. Padahal 
                kan biarpun marahnya udah selesai, sakit hati lawan bicaranya enggak.

                Banyak ‘kenapa’ dan ‘mengapa’ di kepala gue yang sampai hari ini belum menemukan pasangan yang pas sebagai jawabannya. Entah itu soal cinta, keluarga, humans, life.. anything.

Kenapa banyak hal yang kadang terlalu enggak masuk akal bahkan untuk memunculkan pertanyaan ‘kenapa’ ?.

Kenapa kadang gue ngerasa menjalani hidup dengan terlalu banyak pertanyaan dan sering kelelahan ditengah jalan saat mencoba mencari jawabannya ?.

Kenapa kepala gue enggak pernah berhenti bertanya kenapa ?