Saturday, March 28, 2015

A space

image :

When people only busy with their own life. Why do you busy thinking of them ?. Sometimes I think they doesn't even really care. Or if they cared about you, they only need you for some reason, what if someday you become weak, sick, can't work and do something for them ?. They shall throw you out of the earth. To the world named trash bin.

Why am I became so negative ?
I have no idea. Sometimes I become a very positive thinker and a negative thinker. I often hate and love something at the same time.

It's been happens multiple times. There's so many 'self-talk' and 'question-anwered' blown out on my mind and I can't help it.

Sometime I became very posessive, rude and selfish and stubborn in the same way. And could be very sensitive, fragile, polite, and sincere in many different ways. I don't know if anybody's out there feel the same way.

They said there's nothing in this world can't be fixed. But, this world gave me so many unanswered quetions and untouchable secrets.

I don't know for sure, but I think right now I need an escape.
Sometimes it’s better to be far. Than to be too close. Too close will kill you. Space will give you a breath. Space will teach you how to miss someone, and how to learn its meaning.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Dear Dad :)

Hi Dad. I hope you good inside/outside there.

Dad, if only the day when you passed away I'm at your side. If I only I had five minutes, the morning you passed away, I'll give you one last hug so tight and see your great big smile. I'd tell you that I don't think I could live without you, not even for awhile. I'll kiss your cheek and take your hand and tell you it's okay to go. And tell you that I'll miss you, more than you'll ever know.

If only I could tell you many.. many things I wanted to tell. If only God give me 5 minutes to say these unspoken words to you..

1.  Thanks for loving me and caring me for ten years.
2.  Thanks for loving our angel who became your wife and became my mother.
3.  Thanks for keeping me warm in our small-lovely home.
4.  Thanks for teaching me how to ride my first bike, your birthday gift for me.
5.  Thanks for teaching me how to pray and to believe our God.
6.  Thanks for buying me many boys toys : Robots, guitar, cars, etc.
7.  Thanks for giving me a beautiful name with a beautiful meaning.
8.  Thanks for many holidays we spent together.
9.  Thanks for lot of photographs you took since I was a baby.
10.Thanks for being my hero.

I'll always miss you Dad, always.

Monday, March 23, 2015

What Ifs

People said we’d rather have a life of “oh wells” than a life of “what if’s”. But I think “What If’s” is more interesting when we want to escape for a while from reality. Here are my some 'What Ifs' that comes to mind :

What if I most of Jakarta Citizens move to Africa ?

What if people sings when they says every words, like in the’Les Miserable’ movie ?

What if people never grow old and they stuck in 25 years look ?

What if there’s no lies in this world ?

What if all animals could speak to human ?

What if we are all have ‘Doraemon’s Door’ when we’re in the middle of insane traffic ? (just in case)

What if we are all have no hair at all ?

What if aliens come to earth and kills all ‘begalers’  around Jabodetabek ?

What if math never existed ?

What if Albert Einstein, Shakespeare, and Julius Caesar live in the 20th century ?

What if we can fix all hunger problems in the universe ?

What If there’s a ‘GADGET FREE DAY’ ?

What if we can buy anything we want with sincere smiles ?

What if there’s no hate in the world ?

What if we have our own time machine ? So we can fix bad memories ?

What if once in our life, we could be someone else for a day ?

What if we should make a poem whenever we did mistakes ?

What if reading a book is paid ?

What if you have a remote to switch off and on the world whenever you want without giving bad effects to others ?

What if the most honest person (s) in the world have golden hair so they could sell it to make living ?

Thursday, March 12, 2015


There’s so many feelings in your mind, in your heart. Lelah, marah, bosan, bahagia, malu, jengkel, terasing, dan banyak lagi temen-temennya. Nah menurut lo, Perasaan apa yang paling nggak enak ?. Lelah ?. Menurut gue, perasaan paling nggak enak adalah merasa kosong. Bukan sepi, kosong saja. Like there’s a hole in your heart, or mind, or anywhere I don’t  know exactly.

Actually I there’s too much water in my glass, I need another place to pour my water. Gue mungkin cuma belum nemu tempat yang pas. The simple sentence that absolutely right is ; Life comes with no guarantees. Ada yang pergi, ada yang datang. Baik itu orang, perasaan, uang. They comes and goes. They goes and comes. Begitu aja terus sampe subuh. And another thing for sure is, there’s no coincidence. Everything is happens or a reason. Mungkin kalo elo enggak ngerasain ‘kosong’, elo nggak akan pernah tau rasanya ‘terisi’.

At least today I learnt 2 new words, "emptyness" and "life".